i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
