and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
