i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
