DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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