Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I supernannyed him into submission
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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