she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
