Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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