i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
