I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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