i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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