I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
