I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize