I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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