dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
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You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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