At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
