She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
