1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
