I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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