Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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