After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
