I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
