She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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