decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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