Say something about gay babies.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
