AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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