We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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