Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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