I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
