its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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