You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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