he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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