Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
