I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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