do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
