Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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