So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
