so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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