Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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