He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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