your thong is hanging out like whoa
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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