I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
