hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm sobbing to NWA
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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