do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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