i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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