Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
