But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
