He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize