found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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