glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
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A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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