woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
