I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
