and you said cock pushups were impossible
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
