Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I love you. Go after that dick
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
