I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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