You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
