yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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